Not alone.

I’ve tried to write this blog post at least a dozen times. Each time I tried, I simply couldn’t find the right words. Even as I write this, the tears are streaming down my face. But now I’m ready.

To say the past two months have been some of the most difficult of my life is an understatement. After spending a lovely Christmas holiday with my Mom in the assisted living facility where she lived, her health took a steady downturn in early January and a series of strokes left her in increasingly poor health. I visited her on several occasions during this time and each visit was more difficult than the last. It was hard to see my Mom, once so feisty, become increasingly frail and unable to communicate coherently.

Divot in her lap

During one visit while Mom slept in her wheelchair, I stitched yo-yos and Divot kept her lap warm. Although she couldn’t speak, no words were necessary. It was enough to be with her.

In early March another stroke or series of strokes caused her quality of life to become very bad. We knew the end was near. It was heart wrenching for my brother, his wife, and my niece and her family who lived close by my Mom because they visited her almost every day. Miles away, my heart would skip a beat every time my phone would ring. Finally, Kent and I decided we needed to be there with her no matter how long her final journey home might take. 


Mom was surrounded by those who meant the most to her in this life. What a comfort to have family.

We arrived on a Thursday and spent the day with Mom and our family members. That evening her room was crowded with all the immediate family and my sister-in-law’s parents, who were my parents’ closest friends for many decades. In what might have been a very sad time, we shared stories about my Mom and we smiled and remembered so many good times. Because we all believe in our Savior and the gift of eternal life, we found ourselves at peace in this moment as we laughed a little and talked about how eager my Pop would be to see his “beautiful bride” once again. My parents lost two infant daughters at their birth long before my brother and I were born; so we talked about how my Mom would finally be reunited with those precious baby girls she had never seen in this life. The time we all spent crowded around my Mom’s bed that Thursday evening was truly a gift. A gift of love, a gift of peace.

Mom was not alone.


My little dog, Divot, whom my Mom loved very much was content to lay on the bed with her……


…..and kiss her hand every once in awhile to let her know she was there with her.

After everyone had left, Kent and I asked to take the “night watch” with Mom. Around 10pm, I sent Kent out for some iced tea and I spent time alone with Mom. Just her and me. I played different versions of her favorite hymn, I Come to the Garden, on my iPad. I sang softly to her, reminisced out loud about the wonderful times she and I had while I was growing up, and the times she helped me after both our boys were born. I held her hand. I prayed. It was so peaceful. And she was not alone. 


On Friday morning my brother and his wife, and Kent and I were all together around Mom’s bed. We held her hands. We prayed. We assured her that we are all fine; she had fought the good fight and spent a life well lived. We told her it was all right to leave us, to be reunited with my Dad, see those beautiful little girls and meet Jesus face to face. I held her hand and whispered that I loved her dearly and told her I would see her in heaven one day.

When Mom took her final breath she was not alone.
She’ll never be alone again.

What a comforting thought. 

  1. So sorry to hear of your loss but like you it was time to let her go to a much better place. Am so happy that you have a strong faith & the way you feel about all of it. Am also so happy that you could be there with her the last few moments of her life. God Bless you & all of your family.

  2. I’ve met you once (at Cabin Branch) but live close by. We’re Facebook friends and I followed your journey these past few months. Your putting it all together, in one message, was amazing. It moved me to tears.

    Well said.

  3. Kimberly, I am so, so sorry for your loss. Sending hugs to you.

  4. Beautifully written, heartfelt truth. There is peace in knowing we will see our loved ones again. It is hard to watch them suffer. At that point, we just want them to be released from this pain and suffering.

    She was blessed with a wonderful daughter and family. Wishing you peace and comfort.

    Linda Crone

  5. Thank you for sharing your story. I know you will one day see your parents again. When my mother in law died years ago, all her children and grandchildren were with her. It was so peaceful and a wonderful way to honor her life.

  6. Kimberly, I’m so sorry for your loss, but encouraged to know of your faith. I don’t know how people who don’t know.our Savior go on in times like these. It was a beautifully written recount.

  7. Beautiful.

  8. Kimberly,
    I cannot imagine how difficult it was to lose your mom. Thanks for sharing the story of those last few days. Knowing she had accepted Christ as her Savior is a comfort I’m sure. I hope you have many wonderful memories to look back on until you are reunited again.

  9. Dear Kimberly, Our faith is a wonderful gift. I promise to meet you and your mom there one day!! Blessings on you as you learn how to live in this (temporary) world without her. Hugs!!

  10. Thank you for sharing your story with us, I believe she is in Heaven with her loving Saviour and it is so comforting to know that one day we will all unite with our loved ones and meet our wonderful Saviour & Lord! Sending love & prayers to you and all your loved ones! Hugs! xoxox

  11. You are such an amazing individual and I can only believe that you are who you are as a tribute to your parents!!!! I can not fathom how hard it must be to loose a parent and I thank you for sharing this difficult time with us your friends. Your mom is at piece and with her husband and daughters she lost so long ago. Thank you for sharing your inspirational story with us.

  12. So so sorry for your loss. Both of my parents are gone- had a very similar situation with our dad – and it’s times like that that make me so thankful for family. But more than that, I’m thankful that we can grieve with hope- knowing that our believing loved ones are with the Savior and we will be with them again one day. Thank you for all you share of yourself with the quilting community. Praying for His peace to comfort you.

  13. I’m terrible sorry you’ve lost your mother. I am very, very glad that you were able to be with her at the end that way. Be good to yourself. Grief has a funny way of blindsiding us when we least expect it.

    Thank you for sharing your beautiful story with us on your blog. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

  14. Kimbery,
    I am so sorry for your loss. Stay strong and get strenght from the knowledge that she is reunited with her loved ones.

  15. Kim, that was a beautiful tribute to your Mom! I know she knew she was loved by all of you. I am so glad you all were able to be with her during her last few hours on earth. It is so sad to see a loved one suffer so yet knowing she was on her journey to see our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ and loved ones who had gone on before her. I enjoyed talking with your Mom many times. We still have many memories of her. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. We are never alone! God Bless you and your family!

  16. Through tears I try to find the right words to respond to your beautiful remembrance. Your Mom was fortunate to have such a loving daughter as you. Thank you for sharing this very personal time with us. God Bless You.

  17. thank you for sharing such a personal private moment. yes, I got tearful. it brought back my experience with my mom during her last moments here on earth. though it is so hard not to have them around physically we know they are enjoying the presence of the Lord. no more tears and pain. That comforts us. someday we will be together again.

  18. So many of us are around the same age, and our parents are getting to be that age…my parents are 83 and 84. My mom has suffered many strokes also. But to have you share the joys and struggle publicly has been so helpful and I am sure helped to prepare so many of us! So sorry for your loss, but thankful for eternity. Love you

  19. May the peace of the Lord be with you as you adjust to life without Mom. It was moving to read your blog and know that you spent quality time in the end with her. I remember the peace that came over me when I gave my father permission to leave us for his journey to heaven. Heaven is our home.

  20. Kimberly, thank you for sharing. My thoughts and prayers are with you at this difficult time. May you find comfort in our Savior Jesus Christ. Like Janet said above Heaven is our home we are just sojourners here on this planet.

  21. I am truly sorry for your loss. I’m a firm believer your mom will always be with you. Look for the signs as you’ll feel her presence and comfort. Big hug.


  22. A beautiful tribute to be there with your Mom at she entered into heaven. Praying for you and your family to find much comfort knowing that she is not alone, and you will see her again. May your heart find moments of joy as you recall more of the memories that will never fade in the future.

  23. May your mom rest in peace. May peace be with you too, Kimberly.

  24. Kim, I know how you felt. Been there twice ibn a spand of three months.
    What you said could not be better said.
    See you next week
    Dave LaValley

  25. So very sorry for your loss , but for your mom it is truly a blessing. Knowing you all will be together is fantastic.

  26. May love and peace be yours .

  27. God will confort

  28. I’m so sorry for your loss. To be there with her when she passed was a blessing I’m sure. For her to never be alone on that journey is beautiful.

  29. A difficult story to write but beautifully done.

  30. Sorry for you and your family’s loss, may she rest in peace and peace be with you all,
    Warm hugs from Africa.

  31. So understand this journey and heartfelt sentiments as it so parallel my journey with my mom in 2012. I know she knew I was there as I am sure your mom knew. Thank you for sharing. God Bless.

  32. So sorry for your loss. You are so blessed to know that she is with the Lord now and that she was not alone. My mother was completely alone when she died and it was withheld from me that she had a bedsore the size of a plate which caused her to have sepsis. What a horrifying thing to discover on her death certificate and have to find an explanation for it. She lived longer than we expected, but did not expect that at all. Thank you for sharing. God bless you.

  33. My sympathies you yourself and your family. You wrote lovingly about your mums last few weeks, but you seem to be that sort of person Kimberly. It was very moving to read.

  34. Thank you so much for sharing this. I lost my Mama in much the same way. She suffered a massive stroke while in the hospital, and was moved to hospice care for a few days before she died. It was a wonderful, caring place. My husband and I went to be with her on her last day. To quote Shana Schutte, “When I arrived, she had already run away with Jesus.” I’m at peace knowing she is with her other loved ones. I’m glad you know the same peace.

  35. Oh Kim, how tough that must have been but also a God given privilege to be there with your mom as she ascended to Heaven. It was a beautifully written piece and I am sure the tears were pouring as you wrote it. It was so very honorable and loving for all of your family to be there by her side in her last moments and I loved your little dog Divot giving her loving kisses, so sweet. I recently visited my mom in California. She is the one I got the love of quilting from. She made everyone in our large family a graduation quilt. (There are 6 kids and 16 grandchildren, 9 great grandchildren, and one gg grandchild on the way. Whew!) Each one was so different from the next. Both my daughters quilts were photo quilts of all their special memories from grade school to high school. My mom has Alzheimers and did not recognize me so it was pretty tough to see her this way. She was still very loving and present in conversations and such but told me that there was something different about me. I imagine since her long term memory is better than her short term, she probably remembered me as a child but not as an adult. I don’t know. I just know that it was so good to see her and I can now fly for free since my daughter recently became a FA with United airlines. I plan to go see her more often. God bless you Kim and keep you as you mourn the loss of your precious mother, Debbie

  36. Just discovered your website and blog. I am so sorry for your loss. I know what you are going through as I lost my beloved husband last December 21. He was surrounded by his sons and daughters-in-law and, of course, me. I, too, told him it was alright for him to go home as he was suffering greatly from cancer. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family as you continue on your grief journey. I, too, look forward to the day when I will be reunited with my darling and all my loved ones in God’s kingdom.

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